Part Two, Chapter Twenty-Seven

By the time dinner was ready, Carina was surprised to find she was ravenous, but it had been so long since she’d had any appetite that she could only get through half of one of Amalia’s stuffed peppers, and a few bites of early winter squash. “I’m sorry,” she said, “It’s really good. I just don’t have any room.”

“You’re out of the habit of eating. I was that way too, when Alan died. Remember? You don’t have to apologize.”

“I’ll be happy to have some of this for lunch tomorrow if there’s leftovers.”

“I’ll save you something.” Amalia looked at Will. “And this bottomless pit will make sure not to touch it, right?”

“I don’t want Carina’s food.”

“Don’t go telling stories. You’ll eat anything that doesn’t try to eat you first.”

“He’s just growing,” Carina said.

“Boys are always hungry,” Donovan added.

Amalia and Will exchanged looks. They had obviously been over this territory before.

“I leave out food that he can have if he needs a snack. We have to have rules."

She glanced slyly at Donovan. “But we’ve got bigger problems with this boy. It seems he’s moved in on your girlfriend while you’ve been away.”

“My what?” Donovan looked at Will, who was blushing furiously.

“I sent him to borrow a horse from the Petersons so he could run some errands for me. He and Diana hit it off.” She was smiling at the boy now. “They find an excuse to talk to each other nearly every day.”

“Aren’t you a little young for that?” Carina asked him.

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

“Well, that’s good,” Donovan said. “Because if I find out you’ve been trying to steal my girl...”

Will laughed. “She can’t be your girl. Amalia’s your girl. You can’t have two.”

Donovan grew quiet. “No, I guess I can’t, can I?”

“At least he’s taking an interest in reading and writing now,” Amalia went on. “She writes him notes and expects him to answer.”

“Well that’s good,” Carina said, not liking the odd turn of the conversation. “Tell me about your lessons.”

Will made a few desultory comments about dictionaries and division, and then Tasha broke in with a few comments that suggested she was keeping up with Will in almost every way. “I read from the devotional every morning without help now,” she announced. “Want me to go get it?”

“In the morning,” Amalia told her. “That's when we do the devotional readings. Not at night. Come help me clear the table for dessert.”

While Amalia and Tasha bustled around the kitchen, Carina absorbed herself in her wine, trying to ignore Donovan’s eyes upon her. When she could stand it no longer, she looked up and saw that same haunted look she had seen that morning at the rancho, already so long ago. With a conviction in her voice that she by no means felt, she heard herself say, “That was a whole different reality out there.” Then remembering Will was still at the table and looking at them curiously, she turned her attention back to her wine, half-hoping it would make her drunk so she wouldn't have to think any more tonight.

Tasha and Amalia came back with bowls of rice pudding. There was also hot tea with milk and a bit of hoarded brandy for the adults. Although Carina could hardly eat another bite, it all tasted good. She insisted on helping clean up while Will and Donovan went into the living room, and after the table was clear, Amalia sent Tasha to join them, suggesting that she and Will start on their lessons.

Carina tried to get back some of her familiarity with the kitchen. She moved pots around, took a lethargic swipe at a counter, and finally took up a towel and dried the dishes as Amalia washed and rinsed them. “I noticed the creek sure is high for this time of year,” she said, seizing on the first topic that came to mind.

“That's because a storm blew through a few days ago,” Amalia said. “I’m surprised you didn’t get caught in it. The front came through right down the road you took.”

“We did get caught in it, the day we went through Trés Ladrones.”

“What did you do?”

“Took shelter in Catalunia.”

“Oh.” Amalia frowned as she ran a few calculations in her mind. “It delayed you by a lot.”

Carina kept her head bent over the cup she was drying. “There was mud,” she said. “Debris. You know.”

“Did you have any other problems out there?"

"Just rocks. There was one big one that made us have to take the wagon half apart, but other than that, no. No raiders, no outlaws, nothing like that."

Amalia looked out the window, considering. "I think I would've liked a trip like that. No people, just sky and land. I would've taken my sketchbook..."

"Yes, you would've liked it," Carina said, suddenly ashamed of herself. "I should've let you go, like you planned in the beginning."

"What are you talking about? You had every right to go. It was wrong of me to try to stop you."

Carina picked up another plate. "I wasn't ready for it. All those people making a fuss over me...Alvi..."

"What about Alvi? This is the first you've mentioned him. He helped you once you got to Jonasville, didn't he?"

"Oh, yes. He helped a lot. He bought me some things and gave me some very nice presents. He took us to dinner." She drew a deep breath. "He asked me to marry him."

"What?" Amalia nearly dropped a bowl. "You’re kidding, right?"

"I wish I were. I mean, he said not right away. He just wanted me to promise to wait for him and not go marrying one of the valley men or something. As if I'd do anything like that.”

"Well." Amalia turned back to the dishes. "He's always been fond of you, but that was rather blunt, not to mention inappropriate. So I gather you told him no."

"What else could I have said?"

"You poor thing. You're going through enough without having to deal with that."

"It gets worse. When I'm up for it, I'll tell you some of the other stuff that happened, all the horrible people I met in that town. It would've been better if you had gone instead of me."

Amalia rinsed the last of the silverware and handed it over. "Well, you're back now. And you're probably the better for having gotten through it."

"I don't know about that." Carina laid the silverware in a drawer and hung the damp towel to dry. "Let's go see what everyone else is up to. I'd like to see the kids get their presents, and we've got some things for you, too. And then I think I'll turn in early. I'm exhausted.”

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